Mash Off
by Checkstand Five
Summary: Finn says some things he shouldn't have in a public place.


**SPOILERS, SPOILERS! ****THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN THE SHOW, I'M JUST WRITING IT BECAUSE IT'S AMAZING. SO IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED SEASON 3 EPISODE 6: MASH-OFF, THEN I HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU DO NOT READ THIS.**

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><p><strong>Santana:<strong> Hey, tubs! Can I talk to you for a second?

**Rory:** Hey, listen here! You can't make fun of Finn anymore.

**Santana:** Shut your potato hole, I'm here to apologize. Rachel is right. I haven't been fair to you. You're not fat. I should know, I slept with you. I mean at some point I must have liked that you looked like a taco addict who has had one too many back alley liposuctions.

**Rory:** Woah.

**Santana: **Please stick a sock in it and ship your self back to scottland I'm trying to apologize to lumps the clown. I am sorry, Finn. I mean really, I'm sorry that the New Directions are gonna get crushed by the Trouble Tones, and I'm also sorry that you have no talent. I'm sorry that you sing like your getting your prostate checked, and you dance like you've been asleep for years and someone _just_ woke you up. Have fun riding on rachels cotails for the rest of your life, although, you know what? I would just watch out for her come holiday time for him, cause if I were her, I'd stick a stent in of those boobs and let the finn blubber light the honika lamp for 8 _maaaagical _nights.

_(Santana walks away feeling smug)_

**Finn:** Hey Santana... why don't you come out of the closet?

_(stops suddenly)_

**Finn: **You know, I think I know why you're so good at tearing everybody else down. It's because you're constantly tearing yourself down because you can't admit to everybody that you're in love with Brittany, and she might not love you back. That must hurt to not be able to admit to everyone how you really feel. You know what I think you are? A coward. See you at the mash off.

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><p><strong>Brittany: <strong>I think you need to stop making fun of Finn, you're being really harsh.

**Santana:** Manatees have really thick skin.

**Becky:** Santana! Santana! Coach Sue needs you in her office right away.

_(She comes into the office to see Will and Burt pacing around the room)_

**Santana:** What's going on?

**Sue: **Have a seat Santana. I'm afraid we have some bad news, and I think I might be to blame.

**Burt:** Oh you think?

**Sue:** Watch it, blood pressure bubbles. In my campaign to become ohio's newest congress woman, I've said some things that are not true, and I don't feel good about it. I set the tone for this campaign and now I'm afraid my slanderous chickens have come home to roost.

**Will:** Santana, you should know I have the phone number of a counsler who specializes in this.

**Burt:** Something that I've been through first hand I'd be willing to talk your family through it.

**Santana:** W..what are you,_ what are you _talking about?

**Burt: **Reggie the sauce salazar sent me the advanced copy of his campaign ad.

**Sue:** Turns out he has a neice who goes to this school and she overheard a conversation a couple of days ago between you, and Finn Hudson.

_(Burt puts the tape in.) _

_**Sue Sylvester wants to present ohio. She said she shares your values. If thats true, boy do we have some questions. If you're so into family values, why did you promote a lesbian student to be your head cheerleader? And when did you plan on telling ohio familys? Heres another question, why don't you have a husband, Sue? Is there something you're not telling us? Sue Sylvester, so many questions.**_

**Santana:** _(crying)_ i can't believe this is happening...

**Sue:** I'm so sorry-

**Santana:** I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD MY PARENTS YET!

_(runs out of the room)_

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><p><strong>Mercedes:<strong> _She, she ain't real_

_She ain't gon' be able to love you like I will_

_Sure, she's got it all but baby is that really what you want?_

_Bless your soul, you got your head in the clouds_

_She made a fool out of you and, boy, she's bringing you down_

_She made your heart melt but you're cold to the core_

_Now rumour has it, she ain't got your love anymore_

_(chorus)_

**Santana:** _Don't forget me, I beg_

_I remember you said_

_I heard that you're settled down_

_That you found a girl and you're married now_

_I heard that your dreams came true_

_Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you_

_(Chorus)_

**Santana:** _Don't forget me, I beg_

_I remember you said,_

**Santana and Mercedes:** _Never mind, I'll find someone like you_

_I wish nothing but the best for you too_

**Santana: **_Don't forget me, I beg_

_I remember you said_

**Mercedes:** _Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,_

**Santana:** _Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead._

_(Finn whispers to Rachel)_

**Santana:** What did you just say to her?

**Finn:** I said I thought you were great-

**Santana:** No, you're lying!

**Rachel:** No, he literally just said that!

**Santana:** You tell her too?

**Will:** Santana-

**Santana:** EVERYONE'S gonna know now! because of you!

**Finn:** The whole school already knows and they don't care-

**Santana:** That's just the SCHOOL you idiot! EVERYONE!

**Finn:** What are you talking abou-?

_(slap)_

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><p><strong>AN: Then the episode ended. OH GOD. Terrible, TERRIBLE ending! Can't wait for next week. :)**


End file.
